Trauma, Triggers and Triumphs

By Carol K. Kennedy, Ph.D.

How can I help my child identify their triggers that help them cope better with everyday life?

In the past year we and our children have experienced so much trauma from Covid-19, whether in our own families or in society at large. Young people with disabilities, including those with Autism Spectrum Disorders are especially sensitive to these feelings of despair, depression and anxiety. Things that bothered them in general before Covid now can be exacerbated by exposure to the media, and ineractions with family, peers and the outside world. Helping them to identify their own triggers - or what makes them feel overly anxious, afraid, overwhelmed or panicked, can help them anticipate their reactions and learn to tolerate such behaviors or situations. These sensory triggers can include, but are not limited to, loud or certain kinds of noises, people arguing, large groups, certain smells, bright lights, media overload, proximity to people as well as other environmental occurrences they feel are beyond their control. Even going back  to in-person classes can trigger some new responses reflecting the trauma of being in lock-down and having to re-enter public spaces.

So, how can we help them deal with these situations and learn to tolerate them before they go into a crisis state? First, think of yourself and what really bothers you? What makes you, as an adult, feel this way? Is it the sound of sirens? I know that living near a New York City hospital in the Covid-19 hot spot and hearing ambulance sirens every 15 minutes, 24 hours a day for months, make me cringe every time I hear any kind of siren. I felt my heart rate increase and my anxiety kick in. Even now that the worst of the crisis in NYC appears to be over.

First Step to a Solution: Start by helping your child identify several things that really freak them out - it may be things you never thought of - even encountering a person not wearing a mask or walking too close.  Have them talk about why this triggers them and describe how it makes them feel. This is the first step toward having your child be able to tolerate whatever that disturbance is. Even taking a picture, a recording  or video with their phone while talking about it can help.

Self-awareness is the first step toward understanding and self-regulating our reaction to bad situations. Then we can move on toward learning some new coping strategies and greater success. 

Lead your child to a feeling of triumph rather than trauma.